Am I Wrong?

We dated 8 mos and broke up, because he was dealing with a lot while going to mental health counseling. Therapy to deal with ghosts and monsters from his past. I love him, so I tell him I'll wait and I'm here for him. He swears he doesn't want a relationship with anyone. We are together every day. Boom...within a month...he's met a woman at church to hang out with. I flip my lid thinking he is ditching me after all the intense moments and affection we have shared. He says that isn't the case and she disappears. Then we spend all our time together again. Every night I'm in his bed. Every night my daughter,15 and I are having dinner with him and his sister. All the while we are intimate. He's telling me he loves me yet in almost the same breath telling me not to get confused 'cause he doesn't want a relationship. He comments " You do so many things for me...just like a girlfriend would. Thank you." Next breath..."I shouldn't ask you to do those things"? Followed by..."Will you...?" 

Boom...out of the blue he goes to a singles event. Swears it's not for dating. 

Then spend more and more time with "Justin". 

Boom...some chick he says he's talking to calls and he declines it. Doesn't think I see. 

Am I wrong for walking away since he quit therapy and although he says he isn't looking for someone and doesn't want a relationship? ?

I'm no kid...I love this man. I'm not a fool either...and the signs are flashing neon. 

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Comments (2)

  1. mwren

    I have been in that boat way too many times. The issue is that he will never be able to settle down and be happy with someone until he is happy with himself. He has to deal with his past before he can worry about his future. He will keep putting you in this situation if you keep allowing him to do so. My best advice is to step away… not walk away… but stop spending so much time with him. He counts on you being there because you are reliable. If he wants to be with you after you step away then take it slow. Go on dates. Be friends. If its meant to be it will end up were you want it to be. If its not…. well then you have to prepare yourself to move on.

    April 28, 2015
  2. farriberri

    Thanks for your comments. I did do as you suggested…we are engaged to be married Oct 29, 2016. Still have bumps in the road…but I figure most relationships do.

    June 21, 2016