Simply Amazing!

We spent much of the weekend together. He came over yesterday around 4ish...and we all went to look at Christmas lights...and let K drive. She almost got smacked for not yeilding to another car. She asks can I keep going...and I'm screaming no, no,...

Drowning...

I'm going under. Nothing is right. I can't breathe.  I'm not one for giving up. Don't see land. Physically getting tired...  Need a lifeboat.

He doesn't want me...

Life is so short! With so much death around me, I decided it would be best to just let everyone know how I feel about them. I don't want to ever feel like I missed the opportunity to let someone know how important they are to me. Sooo...we were...

It is so quiet now...

I talk way too much. I am too honest with my feelings. I don't know that I will ever learn to just stop talking. My words tend to overwhelm instead of helping as intended. J's pulling away again. I should have sat quietly. Why is silence so...

Out of nowhere...it just hit me.

I have never felt good enough. I have never felt worthy. Emotionally, abandoned by a mother that would rather give her complete attention to her new husband. Ignored by a father that believes his sole purpose is to work and make money for us....

That call you weren't expecting.

He called this morning. Shocked and surprised I answered the phone in my sleepy, first sound of the day voice only to hear him crying on the other end. His Aunt died. His mother had just delivered the news, and he was so vulnerable at that very...

Screaming on the inside...

Thoughts won't stop racing like cars on a speedway. Can't concentrate on one thought...they are everywhere. Now I learn my work is suffering. Nothing is going right. How did it come to this? My life was great from Jan. 8, 2014 until November 5, 2014....

Like a Fish out of Water

Nothing feels right. Everything feels all messed up. I miss him. He cleaned my fridge. That's love! Lol His beautiful smile. Lights up my world. My soul aches to be with him. I think of nothing and noone else. I said I would never marry again...but if...

20 years later...

Memories come flooding back. Oh yeah...this is why I walked away. He only thinks of himself. That's always been the problem. Don't wanna hurt him. Can't let him go. Don't believe we are right for each other at all. Love him, but not in love with him....

A Lifetime...A Thousand Years.

People and feelings are my business. I know more about human behavior than I could ever express. However, none of that matters when it comes to "the heart". I have the most intense feelings. I am the most emotional person. It is a gift and a curse. It...